Java Database Connectivity (JDBC)

I know this topic has been posted before, and believe me I've read all of it and followed instructions at least 5 times over. But I just can't get rid of :

Got an exception!
[Microsoft][SQLServer 2000 Driver for JDBC]Error establishing socket.

On my SQL server side:
1) My Client Network Utility and Server Network Utility both have TCP enabled and default port set to 1433
2) I've set authentication to "SQL Server and Windows" instead of just "windows".
3) For now I'm using my 'sa' account as startup which is set to "SQL Server and Windows" authentication.
4) I've disabled and then enabled TCP a bunch of times, that doesn't seem to help.
5) My SQL Server log says:

2005-02-22 10:12:12.86 server SQL server listening on Shared Memory, Named Pipes.

It should say something about TCP according to the MS SQL help, but I've had no luck with that.

I've even tried NMAP on my computer to check for open TCP ports, and 1433 doesn't show up. My guess is the problem is with SQL Server 2000 (I'm using Java 1.5.0_01 for now). Is there some kind of trick (ritual? animal sacrifice?) needed to get SQL Server to start listening on TCP? God knows I''ve tried everything short of kicking the **** out of my purchased boxed set. Please...any help in the matter would be GREATLY appreciated. Thanks